Quick Question

Did we have the election yet? I was up in the Adirondacks on an extended family reunion camping trip for several weeks. There was no TV since the daughter-in-law made us stay in some godforsaken cabin instead of the Econo Lodge ten miles away. Now I'm back and my TV only gets the Japanese language channel where they show all those soap operas that all seem like the same episode. I tried to watch in the rec room but Tabitha had on some disgusting show with the woman who's married to Howie Long the footballer.

I thought maybe the election hadn't happened yet since last time it took a long time before they settled on a winner. Please stop by and tell me when it is this year and also where we'll be having the voting. Didn't last time we have it in the Julius Irving library? I remember that because I waited in line for twenty-one minutes with a bad hip only to see that Norman had broken the voting lever before me (I know it was you Norman! You left your Mae West photo book in there!!) and the cookies they had set out were picked over to say the least.

Thanks!

A Modest Proposal

Maybe they can add a circular "hoop" in the center of football uprights, then if they kick the ball straight through that small hoop the team gets not a standard 3 point field goal, but a special 5 point "super" field goal!

I Never Served With John Kerry

But I want to say that Vietnam was a bad war. I knew it then, even though I didn't say anything, and I know it now. The Second World War was a good war. Korea, where I served, was somewhere in between. It was nothing like MASH.

So I don't know why he's so proud about killing people in a bad war. I wasn't even really in combat in Korea. Once, on I guess some kind of recon mission, I shot a sniper and it's been with me forever. She was a woman, too. I'm not saying I should go to jail for it or anything. Just, does that make me a hero or a better candidate for President?

I don't think so. But enough of my ramblings! Marie and I have (would you believe it?) dance class down at the mall. I won't be able to walk but I will be able to dance!

Last Night I Dreamed I Was 95

And tonight I can't manage to sleep at all! It's a little spooky to be in the lab by yourself. Marie hasn't slept less than 8 hours in 55 years.

Here's to the New Mary Lou Retton. Only sixteen but can she jump.

Sam just sent another joke. A classic!

A Moral Question
One man said to another, "I didn't sleep with my wife before I got married. How about you?" The man replied, "I don't know. What was her maiden name?"

Swimming

Last night I dreamt I was assigned to substitute teach in a deep suburban high school. It was conjoined with the local shopping mall cum town square. A festival of some kind was in progress. D. Elisabeth, my Late, was there and we had a great time (young we were, when we first met) with the rides and games and booths. After a strange cakey meal I went over to the school section and wandered more or less randomly into a room. It was an extracurricular club's meeting room. It was the White Students' Union and was dressed in Nazi banners and propaganda. The club was meeting. The mayor of the town, in his Kluxen robe, presided and most of the other prominent men of the town were there, as were many troubling jungen. I knew I could not leave immediately without arousing suspicion (although like most of us it would be a nice diversion to arouse anything now!) so I kept quiet and slipped out without making a stir. I had trouble finding her, she was skylarking by a funicular. I hurried her off muttering, like movies, about how we had to get out fast and quiet. It was the modern age, to be sure, but we got in a skyblue Nash Rambler and drove the bejesus out of there. How strange it is I rank this dream highly. For one I saw her again. For another I felt myself again, leaping, striding, and simply doing cleanly and surely, without stagger or caution. Are all our youths and younger selves to be forever entwined with the Nazis?

Anyone out there not heard my rant about those ridiculous TeamUSA outfits at the opening p-rade of the Sports Olympics?

It's All Melted

Colonel, Marie and I got back on the movie bus and it was all melted. I put it back in the freezer and we'll see how well it hardens. Reminds me of a time in the war.

The movie we saw was The Village. If you ask me it was a bad story well told. At the risk of revealing the "twist" it's that nothing you thought was going to turn out one way really turns out that way. It's really something different. This is what they make movies about now.

Happy Bee-lated B-Day Norman!

Hope your day was fine as the son and I were down in Myrtle Beach this week. Do you know that there are more golf courses there than anywhere in the country? I do not know if this claim is true, but the good people of Myrtle Beach claim it and seem to have little intention of providing adequate data to back it up. Still, there are many courses (including something called Mt. Atlantiticus that Brian dragged me to which has seven waterfalls. Seven! What a waste of heavily clorinated blue-ish water!) and I had Alaskan King crab for the first time since I was stationed on the Maryland coast during my brief Naval days. (And no Coates, you are not a Navy man for live, despite what you may have read or heard. We all have our youthful mistakes.)

Again, happiest of days Norman and look for a little surprise by your doorstep this evening! (I don't like frozen custard, so I hope you do.)

(Oh, Brian is my grandson and I took the title of this post from a birthday card I sent him last month. I don't think he will mind since he only uses the Internet to play games as far as I can tell.)

Hoppy Birthdoy!

Those mosquito magnets don't work but I'll be there with fry-pats and turkey dogs!

Has anyone seen my Buchanan plaid lap blanket? I didn't take it on my trip and it isn't in my room. It would have been folded and draped over the back of my chair. If you really need it I can get another but you'll look pretty silly with that blanket everyone knows is mine. So you should give it back.

Happy birthday, Norman!

Happy birthday!!!!!! As my mother use to say, "Till a hundred and twenty." (She said it in Yiddish, but I didn't think you'd understand that.)

Today is My 81st Birthday

As you could probably see from the balloons. Yesterday the kids sent a "combination" present: a thing that looks like a barbecue that you use to drive mosquitos away. I think they call it a magnet because of how it repels. I'll be in the courtyard around sunset. Join me!

And on this birthday, it's time to reflect. Never has a man been so blessed to have been born and to continue living. I really feel that every week or two is a gift, and despite my complaining, a pretty good one. Especially when you consider all the love I get, especially in the nighttime from Marie. And the fact that it's in this beautiful country that represents everything that's good and decent, even if we make some mistakes.

God bless you all.